By Penny Hutchins Paquette
Consultant to discovering the underlying purposes for beside the point and disruptive behaviour, and working with them continually.
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Additional resources for Parenting a child with a behavior problem: a practical and empathetic guide
Example text
If, however, your child doesn't like competition, introduce the benefits of running, or skipping rope, or riding a bike, or any other noncompetitive physical activity. One of the simplest ways to reduce stress is to ask for cooperation rather than make demands. " Rather than command, request. It works! " Often, parents themselves give children these labels. " Children don't need to hear these self-descriptive terms too often before they come to believe them. Sometimes we create self-fulfilling prophesies by categorizing children in this way.
We have outlined normal developmental stages to help you understand what you should expect from your child as he grows into adolescence. With an overview of expected behaviors classified by age, you will begin to recognize your child's place on the continuum, and you will recognize when your child's behavior requires your attention. Often, determining the cause of unacceptable behaviors is the first step in addressing behavior issues. We will help you understand why your child misbehaves. Page xvi When a child's behavior begins to disrupt normal activities, it creates a less than desirable emotional environment at home.
Parents dealing with these issues told us they often feel pulled into struggles with their child. "It's as if a huge magnet is drawing me in, and I just can't stop myself," one explained. As parents, when we have difficulty in this type of situation, we need to examine our behavior. If we challenge our children, make unreasonable demands, or take pleasure from the sense of power we get when we manipulate them, we then have to accept our level of responsibility in their behavior. When we behave this way, we teach our children to be unreasonably demanding, too.